Slowing Down

What’s the rush? I’ve been asking myself this more often lately.

For those of you who watch my occasional stories on Instagram, you might remember I was in Pennsylvania for two weeks of this month visiting my sister Ilsa. Shoutout to her and Qasim bhai for putting up with me for that long cause it was much needed. Prayers up for my fellow Celtics fan though cause we’re officially out of the playoffs as many of my “friends” have made sure to inform me of.

While I was there, I attended second Jummah (Friday prayer) at the local mosque there at the Islamic Society of Central Pennsylvania. It’s a small masjid about 10-15 minutes from Ilsa’s place. I remember I went to a coffee shop that morning and ended up staying to take my work meetings there for CharityStack (still haven’t dropped a newsletter for this that I wrote over half a year ago) and was actually on track to be right on time for Jummah.

Unfortunately, once I was near the masjid, I missed the turn into the parking lot and ended up adding time to my ETA because I had to wait for the next open area for me to hit a U-turn and come back around towards the masjid. I’ll admit this frustrated me a little bit because I really wanted to be on time that day to be prepared before they started and so I may have sped up after that into a quick U-turn once I confirmed there were no cars around and I was safe to maneuver. Then I arrived there and proceeded inside to make wudu and catch the khutbah a few minutes into it.

That khutbah ended up being one of the best ones I’ve heard. The khateeb started talking about how people park in the neighboring lots which don’t belong to their community whenever there is overflow or those people are late. I wasn’t one of those people that day but this is something no Muslim is a stranger to. The owners had complained that this made it difficult on them as limited parking was available for actual customers.

He used this example to reflect out loud on how one should think a bit deeper about how they arrive to Jummah. If we’re overlooking our neighbor’s rights to go pray, we’ve lost sight of the bigger aim here of pleasing God and are potentially tainting our worship in the process. He went on further to talk about how we might speed or rush to Jummah when we’re late, even though we already know the slotted times for it and have all week to prepare to be on time. Instead, we don’t plan and speed down the street and risk the safety of others and violate laws of our localities to make it to pray. He said the following phrase often as he elaborated on poor etiquette from the community:

“Now you’re all more knowledgeable than I am, but if that’s me, I have to ask myself if my Jummah is accepted when this is the manner in which I fulfill it?”

When he first mentioned the speeding, I started stressing that maybe he’d seen me speed around that U-turn to get to the masjid and this was about me. He clearly hadn’t seen me as he’d already been inside but I felt the message that day was no coincidence. He made me feel singled out without doing so in a draining or negative way, but rather as a teaching moment. I’d like to think that’s the mark of a solid khateeb and community leader. The Prophet (S) wasn’t sent to appease us but to help us perfect our character and attain closeness to God. Many of us aren’t comfortable with constructive feedback, especially in sacred spaces, and we have to work on that. Just as importantly though, it was the reminder I needed to get back to being more intentional and thoughtful in the things I do and for that I’m grateful.

Fast forward to my first Jummah back in Houston after my trip and I’m late to Jummah yet again due to a work situation distracting me and taking an incorrect turn on the highway (I really need to stop using Apple Maps, it’s my red flag). That one turn added almost 10 minutes to my ETA, so you can imagine I’m similarly frustrated this time with myself and try to make up lost time safely by keeping a better focus on the road.

Once I’m close, I get in the right lane to turn and the man behind me honks his horn after I take just an extra second to check the road, which was odd to me and so I overcompensated on the turn to get out quickly once it was clear. Then when I was taking the final turn onto the masjid’s street, the light turned red so I stopped and it then immediately turned yellow to yield on left turns and the man honked again at me because he couldn’t wait those two seconds for me to look up at the light.

At this point, I was annoyed with him and looked back in confusion at him. I realized this man was also going to the masjid and, in his rush, lost sight of his etiquette on the road. In that moment I remembered that khateeb a few weeks ago and these two days became connected for me and what sparked this letter to actually make it out of my drafts.

I eventually made it inside and the khutbah was truly beautiful. The khateeb spoke about how the Prophet (S) spared no interaction of its due time and due respect to where his loved ones didn’t have complaints. Spending time in service to his family’s needs emotionally, physically, and spiritually every morning and night and his community throughout the days. It made me pause on the idea of rushing anywhere or rushing anything let alone prayer.

So here’s to better discipline and etiquette in our approach to worship and life. Sometimes taking things slow and steady allows us to derive more benefit than we otherwise would. If we skipped to the part of life where everything falls into place, I’m not sure that it’d be very fulfilling anyway. I recently turned 24 and it can feel like time is escaping my hands like sand at times but I have to remind myself that with each day comes an opportunity to become just a little bit better. See you next post, but don’t count on me writing one too soon.